Tag: workout

New Year’s Resolution

~ Jody Rich ~ Leave a comment

Where to begin…

I have about a hundred thoughts swirling in my head regarding what I wanted to write about today. Do I talk about my holiday self-sabotage? Do I talk about my New Year’s resolution and my current mindset? I guess I want to talk about it all as it is all related. I guess I don’t really want to talk about any of it – I just want to get to work and DO IT.

I gave myself permission to indulge over the holidays – hopefully with moderation. Given that I regained 13.6 pounds between November 27 and yesterday, it’s safe to say moderation went the wayside. Initially, I was still meal planning and prepping and keeping within my nutritional goals during the week, indulging on the weekends. I skipped the gym for the last two weeks of November, went back for the first week of December then didn’t go again until New Year’s Eve. Eventually, I started hitting the Christmas cookies hard in the evenings and didn’t bother planning, prepping or logging anything. I knew I had regained weight but I wasn’t expecting to have gained quite so much. Given my behavior, I should have expected it. That said, I was surprisingly un-upset by it. I see it simply just a starting point, the beginning of the next part of my weight loss story (I hope).

You see, I made an official New Year’s Resolution to reach my goal weight in 2019. If you follow my Instagram account, you would know that I have been building up a head of steam for weeks, preparing to tackle this resolution on January 1. I treated myself to a new meal-prep perfect lunchbox, new gym clothes and shoes, and a fancy new pair of earbuds. I worked with my friend Karol to come up with SMART (Specific-Measurable-Ambitious-Realistic-Time Bound) Goal Worksheets for setting up all the short-term goals that will get me to my end goal.  I have been furiously pinning great fitspo images on my Pinterest board and compiling a new Spotify workout playlist. I set up the camera tripod in the kitchen, marking the kitchen floor with blue masking tape, so that I can take my progress photos and, hopefully one day, create a time-lapse video of my transformation.

010119

So here I am. January 1, 2019 and I weigh 211.1 pounds. My first SMART Goal of the year is to lose 11.3 pounds by Saturday, February 9 (get back to Onderland in just over five weeks). I have 56.2 total pounds to lose in order to reach my ultimate goal and I would love to do it by August 1. I plan to stay accountable, stay honest and make my health and weight loss a priority. I plan to keep the lessons learned over the holidays (all that junk food really, ultimately, wasn’t worth it) at the forefront of my mind and make healthier, more productive decisions. I plan to eat healthy, clean, unprocessed and nutritious foods as much as possible. I plan to give 100% of my effort, energy and dedication to my workouts. No more excuses, no more backslides, no more pity parties… that’s how I’ll reach my goal. Time to lace up those Nikes, tighten up my ponytail and take ownership of 2019. This will be my year.

Gearing Up for Success

~ Jody Rich ~ Leave a comment

While I am enjoying the holidays (and enjoying the holiday treats a little too much), my mind has already jumped ahead to the New Year. I have big plans for next year. I have made lots of resolutions to lose weight in the past, but they’ve all been vague, ill-equipped and unsuccessful.  This year, all of that changes as 2019 will be the year I reach my goals. As January nears, I have been preparing to tackle my goals.

Mentally, I have been scouring the internet for meal planning recipe ideas and fitness inspiration, I have been building a new and ever-evolving workout playlist on Spotify, and I have been talking to my friend about setting up a goal sheet and vision boards to both chart my plan for success and motivate me. Today, I asked myself if there are any physical items I need to literally gear up for success. These would be the items that help me in the kitchen and in the gym, that help to minimize or alleviate the excuses I make for not sticking to my plans or inspire me to work harder and stay more dedicated.

I grapple quite a bit with buying gear. Sometimes I feel like I don’t want to “reward” myself before reaching goals. Sometimes I feel like I don’t really deserve it. Mostly; however, I feel like gear is superfluous – that I can make-do with things I already have, however imperfect they may be. After all, I lost over 100 pounds wearing hand-me-down gym pants and using a beat-up old iPod. Maybe some things are redundant, but I also have to acknowledge the shot-to-the-arm that new gear and a financial investment in my success can provide. I have to make my health a priority, I have to view my quest to reach my goals a worthy and important venture. I have decided that, with the help of my $250 Visa Gift Card Thanksgiving bonus (I was sitting on this bonus with the hopes of finding the perfect way to spend it) I am excited to stock up on the tools that will inspire me and make my life easier.

mealprep

From meal prep containers and a new insulated lunchbox to new wireless headphones, a progress journal, workout wear and possibly some new gym shoes, I am researching items that will make this journey easier and more streamlined while refreshing my attitude and giving me a sense of the importance and value of my success. I am so excited for this new year, so excited to put in the work, track my progress and make 2019 MY year to reach my goals. Stocking up on some great gear is going to be a fun and rewarding step in the process.

My Own Inner-Demon

~ Jody Rich ~ Leave a comment

Everything was going great. I’d been able to get consistent and dedicated with my diet and exercise routine. I have lost nearly 30 pounds. I am back in Onderland. People have been noticing. Coworkers have commented on my progress, friends and family have congratulated me on my success. I have had to buy smaller clothes and even I, my own worst critic, have noticed the physical changes in my body as I sat on the couch marveling aloud and my “skinny calves.” It has been exciting, rewarding and encouraging. It has made me feel strong, healthy and proud. So why in the hell have I started to sabotage myself?

sabotage

This isn’t new a new phenomenon. I have squared up against this enemy twice and twice been defeated by it – once in 2010 and again in 2013. Each time I came within 30 pounds of my goal weight then, without any seeming provocation or reason, I started sabotaging my success by gradually neglecting meal planning and workouts and falling back into binge eating behavior. Both times I would regain more than 40 pounds.

Over the past month I have been facing this foe once again – skipping the gym, veering from my meal plans, binge eating. The last time I weighed in on November 17, I had regained almost two pounds. I haven’t weighed in since feeling that further weight gain could have a dire effect on my mood and motivation. I recognized quickly that I was getting in my own way but that hasn’t stopped the behavior. I have been asking myself questions, reading online articles about self-sabotaging, talking about my frustrations. All the while, the behaviors have worsened. Two weeks without visiting the gym, eating more cookies than I can log to MyFitnessPal.

Why do I do this… Am I afraid of success? Do I feel like I don’t deserve it? Is the excess weight some kind of security blanket my subconscious mind refuses to release? Am I simply getting over-confident, cocky about my weight loss, playing it fast and loose and paying the price?

I haven’t wanted to write this blog until I had answers to my questions, explanations and analyses. Weeks have passed; however, and I have no answers. While my inner-turmoil will have to be quieted, the most important thing for me right now is to get the self-destructive behavior under control. I have to work through this but, at the same time, I can’t work through this at the expense of the progress I’ve made. So I have come up with some steps which will hopefully help me to move past this stage in my weight loss story – this stage where, historically, the journey has ended.

Fake it ‘til you make it. Even if my heart’s not in it, I will go to the gym and I will meal plan and meal prep each week. I will go through the motions and maintain the physical habit even if the mental one is lagging behind. A subpar workout is better than no workout. A cookie at the end of a healthy day is better than a cookie at the end of a binge.

Seek out motivation. Whether it’s Pinterest fitspo boards, Instagram success stories or Fearless Motivation speeches, I will take motivation from others when I can’t muster it for myself. I have to get encouraged, get inspired, get excited for this journey again.

Own it. I will be transparent and accountable for all of it. Owning this process is great when you feel strong and proud. It can be disheartening and embarrassing when you feel weak and confused. Not owning the uglier sides of this process only creates shame and hinders progress, perpetuating the self-sabotage.

Dig deep. I will delve into my heart and mind and find some answers to what may be driving this tendency to self-sabotage. This could mean journaling, doing research, talking to those closest to me or seeking out a support group. I will never truly move past this and reach my goals without knowing how to heal whatever hurt lies inside me.

Bear with me, dear readers, and I try to get out of my own way. I will have to step up to the mat and confront this old inner-demon head-on but I do so with hope and optimism. There must be a way to work through it and come out the other side fit, healthy and happy.

Throwback Thursday

~ Jody Rich ~ Leave a comment

tbt

I found this picture this morning in the annals of my Facebook photos. It was an outtake from a photo shoot I art directed for the gal in the photo with me. We’d been photographing the DJs she managed in one of the many oh-so-photogenic alleyways in New Orleans on a hot September day. At the end of the shoot we were all having fun and goofing off and the photographer decided to get this shot of the two behind-the-scenes ladies. The photo was taken on September 19, 2010.

I had lost 93 pounds by this time and dropped from a size 24 to a 14 but I didn’t really see it. I knew I was smaller because I had to buy new clothes, because people kept telling me I was smaller, but I didn’t see it in myself the way others saw it. I didn’t own a full-length mirror (or a mirror any larger than the small medicine cabinet mirror mounted over my bathroom sink, for that matter) and the absence of mirrors was deliberate.  Seeing this photo was one of the first times I truly saw myself at this size, truly realized how much I had changed. I couldn’t stop marveling at my legs – they were so much longer and thinner looking than I had ever seen them. I shared the photo online and reading people’s reactions to the photo on Facebook, too, helped me to see myself through their eyes.

It is impossible to genuinely fathom the happiness I was feeling at this time in my life, at this point in my journey. Those feelings faded and passed entirely as I fought the battle of regaining then losing weight over and over again. I didn’t know it at the time, but I would only lose another 8-10 pounds after this photo was taken before my struggle to reach my goal and maintain weight loss would begin, before I would begin the cycle of self-sabotage that would ultimately result in my regaining 46 of the 111 pounds I had, at one point, lost. For the past eight years the feelings I most experience with my weight loss journey are frustration, disappointment and pain. It doesn’t feel rewarding anymore, it feels empty, it feels punitive for having regained the weight and failed to reach my goal.

This week, I am (again) at the point of being close to 93 pounds lighter than I was at my highest weight and I have been trying to reconnect with the feelings of happiness I experienced the first time I’d lost the weight, to recapture the excitement and satisfaction of seeing all my hard work pay off. I want to feel pride in my accomplishment, an accomplishment that I genuinely felt was impossible and often, still, feel is impossible. I may never shake the feeling that my success is a fluke, that it is fleeting but I didn’t feel that on September 19, 2010. So, I write this blog today and I share this picture because I feel it is such an important reminder of what truly is possible, of how profoundly one can change, of how much you can impress yourself when you finally see yourself for the amazing person you are.

Motivation vs. Discipline

~ Jody Rich ~ Leave a comment

It was a pretty typical Friday at the gym. The place was fairly quiet – common later in the week as all the members who were so enthusiastic on Monday have tuckered out and become scarce by Thursday. I didn’t want to be at the gym, either. I was tuckered out, dragging my feet begrudgingly from one machine to the next thinking about everything I’d rather be doing and lamenting my absentee motivation. Motivation is a slippery bugger. I have tried so many things to get it back. The motivation that initially got me so excited to hit the gym has remained elusive. It flickers in and out, sputtering like the flame of a candle.

Friday; however, as I caught myself  half-assing my workout, the truth struck me. I’ve read the quotes, saved them to my pin boards, but I hadn’t really internalized the idea until now. Motivation gets you started but, eventually, you are going to have to rely on discipline. Motivation is fleeting; discipline is enduring. Motivation may flare up from time to time, fanned by some momentary inspiration like a good weigh-in or a smaller pair of jeans, but when it is gone (and it will go away) you still need to show up and you still need to work every bit as hard as you did when its fire burned in your belly.

discipline

I have spent so much of my weight loss life (the years during which I have worked and fought to lose weight has truly taken on a life of its own, in so many ways separate from the rest of my existence) obsessed with motivation. Getting my “mojo” back, recapturing or replicating the moments of motivation that propelled my first steps on this journey. Recapturing that “lightning in a bottle.” It is as if I had come to believe that motivation was the key to success, was the element I had been missing all the years I tried and failed to lose weight. This time around, for reasons I may never be able to understand or explain, I am finding I am finally learning lessons in discipline. That, in fact, discipline may be that key I was searching for.

It is easy to work out, to make the healthiest food choices, to be focused and dedicated when you are motivated. At the end of your motivation is where the real work begins, where your true character is revealed, where your desire to meet the goals you’ve set for yourself are forged into habit. That is where a diet becomes a lifestyle, where a plan becomes a routine.

Yesterday evening, as I headed toward the gym, I felt the spark of motivation – the same spark so many people seem to feel at the beginning of a new week. Then I hit the weight machines and the reality of how hard this was going to be, how much I would sweat, how sore and exhausted I would feel hit me and my motivation was snuffed out. It was just the two of us: me and my discipline. And we, the two of us, killed that workout. We sweat, we ached, we pushed through the desire to ease up and the urge to quit.

I’m a work in progress, of course. I know there will be days I struggle to remain disciplined, when my character fails, when I don’t muster the strength to keep going without the unreliable external force of motivation. I am understanding, though, the role discipline is going to make in my success and it is exciting to feel I have turned that corner. Perhaps this will be the difference between achieving my ultimate goals and petering out before I get there.

Pity Party

~ Jody Rich ~ Leave a comment

Last week I was 1.6 pounds away from Onderland. After three consecutive weeks of losing 2.2 pounds per week, I felt Onderland was a shoe-in but I still wasn’t taking any chances. I worked my ass off at the gym adding extra cardio to many workouts, I shaved calories from each day’s meal plan to ensure then previous weekend’s indulgences didn’t derail my progress. I woke up Saturday feeling the giddy nervousness of a child waking up on Christmas morning. I headed to the bathroom scale (cell phone in-hand to photograph the momentous occasion of being back under 200 pounds for the first time in more than three years) stripped down and stepped on.

-.2

2/10ths of a pound lost. That’s it. No Onderland. After all those long workouts, after all those missed morsels my hopes are dashed, my excitement squashed. I must have gotten off and back on that stupid scale four times before I accepted the results, slunk off to the sofa and had myself a good, long cry. I told myself I would take the day to emotionally recover from the setback then carry on but here we are, Thursday, and I am messaging Karol about my struggle to get motivated this week, my conviction that (somehow) my pants are getting tighter and how I have been sleep-walking through my workouts all week. And then she gives me exactly what I need – not the gentle coddling my drama-queen self is looking for but, instead, the swift kick to the ass I deserve.

scale-2

She informs me she is not pulling out the balloons and the confetti to throw me a pity party. We are on a mission and one disappointing weigh-in not a setback, not a failure. Good weeks are good weeks despite the scale and any week on-plan is a good week. She’s right, of course. She’s right to not let me wallow and she’s right about everything else. I am sick of my own drama, sick of the yo-yo mood, sick of hearing myself complain every time a weigh in doesn’t go the way I want, sick of comparing my results to those of other people. I’ve been doing this too long, I have too much experience on this journey to continue to let this bring me down.

There is a mental toughness aspect to losing weight. It’s a toughness forged from bad weeks, from setbacks, from injuries and disappointing weigh-ins. It is an ability to quickly recover emotionally, an ability to harden your heart in the face of failure, to steel your mind against self-doubt. It is skill in getting and staying motivated without any external influence, without results to push you. It is a toughness you build like any other muscle and, like any other muscle, it will atrophy without use. The fortitude we hone through weight loss can be applied to every other aspect of our life just as the strength and endurance we build in the gym can be applied to our daily lives. This week, as I work in the gym to get my body strong I realize I’ll be working everywhere else to my mind right again.

Today, I am deciding the pity party is over. Today I am moving forward, reminding myself exactly how strong, how resilient I can be. Today I am done feeling sorry for myself, done believing that losing 2/10ths of a pound is a failure, done worrying about Onderland or any other milestone. I’ll get there. Maybe this week, maybe next week, maybe three weeks from now – I’ll get there. What I won’t get is a second chance to make the most of this week, of today. It’s time to quit my crying and toughen up.

Beast Mode

~ Jody Rich ~ Leave a comment

You might jump the starting line. You might be out in front of me. But I will come around you, I will beat you in the end. Why?

Because I will out work you, I will out sacrifice you. I will have more heart, more discipline, more courage. I am not like you. I am an animal, a beast. I am fierce, I am unrelenting.

beastmode

When you go for take-out, eat fast food, drink alcohol and soda, buy packaged and processed foods, I will eat and drink clean. I will weigh and portion everything, I will meal prep, I will track every bite of food and every ounce of water.

When you give in to the temptations of unhealthy foods, calling it a treat and telling yourself you are living a balanced life and you deserve it, I will still eat clean. I know that what you call “balance” is just a way to rationalize your weakness in the face of tempting treats. I know true balance isn’t poisoning my body and sabotaging my success.

When you are out with your friends, I will be at the gym working. When you lift light, I will add five pounds, ten pound and lift heavier. When you walk, I will run. When you quit at ten, I won’t quit until fifteen. When you show up three days, I will show up five.

You wanted the easy way. You always looked for the path of least resistance, the quick fix, the magic pill.

I know there is no easy way. This path goes through hell and it leads someplace you’ll never see because you don’t have the strength, the courage, the discipline to walk this path.

You want to blame someone, something. You blame the past, blame hurt, blame trauma, blame your body, blame the world. Maybe those things got you to where you are now, but those things have nothing to do with where you go next. They can’t stop you from changing. Only you hold yourself back.

I don’t hold myself back. I acknowledge my past, learn from it and release it. I accept responsibility for my life, for my choices, my mistakes, my weaknesses. I don’t look to anyone else to right these wrongs for me. I face the consequences of my choices. I stand up to the challenges I’ll face; I stand up to them in the kitchen, at the gym, every day and in everything I do, I make my future, I make my body, I make my success.

Sometimes I slip, sometimes I stumble. But I get up over and over and over again because that is what this takes. I do not give up, I do not give in.

So go ahead and jump that starting line, get a few laps ahead of me, but know that you will not beat me. You cannot beat me because I know you. I know your weaknesses, I know your habits, I know your excuses. I know the work you are willing to put in. I know the results you are expecting to get out. I know the disappointment you’ll feel when you can’t reach your goals, when it all starts slipping through your fingers. I was you. I could still be you now had I stayed that course, had I tried taking the easy way again. But I left you behind. I took the path of most resistance. I took the path of work, of fight, of character, self-mastery, determination and tenacity. I took the path of blood, sweat, tears, blisters, muscle aches and exhaustion. You will not beat me. You cannot beat me.

Weak in the Knee

~ Jody Rich ~ Leave a comment

Early last week, during an intense cardio workout on the treadmill, my left knee twisted and popped. I kept going. I had been diagnosed with Patellofemoral pain syndrome more than a year ago and the treatment was exercise so I rationalized continuing. After getting home, my knee still tender, I thought to myself, “I should take it easy so this doesn’t get worse.”

29095200_413618359066353_7229940477691166720_n

But the next day I thought to myself, “this knee injury was no big deal a year ago and the prescribed treatment was exercise – I’m going to keep going. I’m going to stay disciplined. I’m going to push through the pain. Don’t wimp out now, Jody!” After all, I have been losing an average of two pounds per week. I’ve moving the needle. I’m dedicated, I’m on a roll. I can’t risk losing that momentum. I pushed through the pain and kept going.

Over the course of the week, I’ve had to shave five minutes here, ten minutes there off of my cardio due to knee pain. I’ve had to lower the leg press machine with one leg, not wanting to bend my left knee to an extreme degree. I’ve sort of nursed the knee, but I pushed through my workouts. Now, more than a week later, the knee is swollen and throbbing. I didn’t sleep last night, unable to get or stay in a comfortable position. Even now, sitting at a desk, I feel the pulsating pain in that knee. I think I screwed up. I am in a situation where I can’t do much of anything in the gym. Even low-impact cardio forces painful bends in the knee.

I find myself saddened. Last night, as I sat on the couch with a bag of frozen peas on my elevated knee, the tears started welling up in my eyes. Who knew I could come to a point of being emotionally devastated by having to stop working out? I used to actively seek out lame excuses to skip the gym (i.e., I forgot my hair tie, I can’t find a decent parking spot.) I have to stay mentally strong now and look for answers and alternatives. I am stocking up on athletic tape. I have ordered a compression knee brace online and paid for expedited shipping. I’m using someone’s ice pack from the office freezer (sorry, coworker). I made the heartbreaking decision to dial back my workouts until this knee recovers, putting all my goals and milestones on hold. I know it’s what I have to do. I know it’s what I should have done in the first place. Swimming. Arm bike. Supersets of upper body and core exercises to get my heart rate up. I have to find alternatives to using my knee that allows me to rest and recover without sacrificing my progress or dedication. I have to adjust my expectations during this time.

These are the challenges we face when we step foot onto this path. That is one of the reasons I wanted to write a blog as I lost weight and transformed, not just after I’d already taken the journey and reflected back. I believe these are important lessons and trials that most people face. This injury may have left me weak in the knee, but it will also make me strong in the spirit – in the heart, the mind. I limp along on my journey, exercising and strengthening my spirit as my body rests. I try to stay positive, I try to find the lesson I must learn from this injury. 

Your Results Are A Mirror

~ Jody Rich ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes you hear the exact words you need to hear at the exact time you need to hear them.

Sometimes someone finds the words you’ve been wanting to say.

A friend recently shared with me some motivational videos and, while many have been moving and impactful, one stands out as particularly profound to me. The first few times I listened, this motivational speech lifted me up and pushed me forward. It drove me to work harder and to understand what has been going on within me these past few months. Suddenly, the video transformed from an external motivational voice into my own voice, urging me forward and fanning the fire within me. I had been searching for a way too say all of these things, to speak all of the truths within.

I have wanted to write about the discipline I’ve developed, the sacrifices I make, the determination I feel to push myself harder, to do better, to be the person I want to be. Something in me has changed – a switch has been hit and I have become devoted to this journey again in a way I may have never been devoted to it before. I am dedicated, disciplined and fearless. I get it… get what it is going to take to achieve the results I want and I’m willing to do the work, to make the sacrifices. I know there is no fast way, no easy way and, if there were, the results wouldn’t be worth having. I know I want to earn this, I want to fight for it, I want to look at myself and look at how far I’ve come and be proud of everything I did to get there. I want my results to be a mirror of my efforts.

I realized I didn’t need to put this into my own words. I could simply share this video and its transcript with you. I listen to this video EVERY NIGHT before I workout, in the car on my way to the gym or while I warm up on the treadmill. I hope that it inspires you the way it inspires me.

Your Results Are A Mirror (Motivational Speech) | Fearless Motivation

Your results are a mirror of your effort, your DISCIPLINE and sacrifice.
In life, In the gym,
your body, your health…



EFFORT.

You can talk all you want… Results don’t lie. EFFORT doesn’t lie.

When it’s game day…
when it’s SHOWTIME… Those who talk but haven’t worked…
The work they’ve put in will be seen by everyone.

Those who kept their mouth shut and WORKED when no one was watching, Their work will be seen by everyone too, but in a much different way.

 Which one do you want to be?

SACRIFICE

If you don’t sacrifice for what you want,
WHAT YOU WANT will become the sacrifice.

 And you will have to SETTLE for a life you DO NOT want.

If you aren’t willing to SACRIFICE now, for what you want,
then you can guarantee that LATER you will be making sacrifices for many things you don’t want.

If you don’t work for it NOW, you will be working for someone who DID work for it, later. 

If you don’t put in the blood, sweat and tears NOW.
 Sacrifice your time, sacrifice your nights out, give up your treats… 

If you don’t give up everything that is holding you back, that will be reflecting back to you in your FUTURE.

That’s life.

Success will never come easy. GREAT results will NEVER come easy.

You might get lucky. You might get OK results. But long term, success requires SACRIFICE. EFFORT and DISCIPLINE.

The good news is, you rarely have to sacrifice anything that will give you long term pleasure.

Almost always, all you really have to give up are things that are dragging you down. The things that do nothing for your future.

DISCIPLINE.

Your body is a mirror reflection of the sacrifice you make in the kitchen and in the gym.

 The DISCIPLINE to say no to short term temptation over long term pride.
 The DISCIPLINE to get up, to drag yourself through a workout. Consistently. Not just one day. EVERY DAY.

Do you want the quick fix now, that leads to a bigger problem later?
Or discipline now that leads to pride later?
STRENGTH LATER.
STRONG HABITS LATER.
CLEAR MIND LATER.
POSITIVE INFLUENCE OVER OTHERS LATER?

Without EFFORT you will NEVER get it
Without SACRIFICE you will NEVER get it
WITHOUT DISCIPLINE you will NEVER KEEP IT

So I’m asking you… Have you got what it takes to be great?

Tell yourself:
 It may take time… 
It may take HUGE EFFORT… 

I may have to dig deep and go to places I’ve never been before…
 BUT I WILL MAKE IT! 
I WILL DO IT!

I WILL STAND AT THE END WITH PRIDE KNOWING I STOOD FIRM.
KNOWING I LET NOTHING AND NO ONE STOP ME.

THIS GOAL I HAVE… THIS DREAM I HAVE…
It is more important THAN ANYTHING.

You can throw whatever you like my way.
 I WILL DEFEAT IT.
 I WILL DEFEAT IT WITH MY WILL! 
I WILL GET THERE!
 I WILL!

CREDITS
Your Results Are A Mirror Of Your Effort Sacrifice & Discipline – Motivational Speech Download or stream the motivational speech here:
iTunes: https://goo.gl/vxhCne
Spotify: https://goo.gl/1u4UDE
GooglePlay: https://goo.gl/wD4Dcs
Apple Music: https://goo.gl/vxhCne
AmazonMP3: https://amzn.to/2x76AhW
Worldwide MP3 Download: https://goo.gl/bS92KC
Speaker: Chris Ross: https://goo.gl/XvmwCY
Transcript: https://goo.gl/Ex5pUd
Follow Fearless Motivation for DAILY MOTIVATIONAL VIDEOS and other content:
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/c/+TeamFearless
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/fearlessmotiv…
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/fearlessmoti…
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fearlessmotivat
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/fearlessmotiva…
FEARLESS MOTIVATION Official Apparel & Merch store: https://goo.gl/Q3VnLi
BACKGROUND MUSIC by Fearless Motivation Instrumentals: iTunes: https://goo.gl/2mF7gr
GooglePlay: https://goo.gl/d754Fw Spotify: https://goo.gl/Uxmswh
AmazonMP3: http://amzn.to/2F9lffx
Worldwide MP3 Download: https://goo.gl/YdDX9d
License details for music and speech use: https://goo.gl/c9BL0P

A Love Letter to my Body

~ Jody Rich ~ Leave a comment

Red envelopes with hearts and LOVE on wood background

My Dearest Body,

Too long it has taken me to see the wonder that you are and to love you as you truly deserve. You, the very home where my spirit resides… you, who have sheltered, protected, endured me for these 44 years… you, who have suffered in near silence and will suffer no more at my hand. I was ungrateful. I put you through hell. I blamed you for my problems. I deemed you unlovable because boys didn’t like me. I called you names – fat, ugly, disgusting, wretched, broken, worthless – so I could say it before someone else had the chance. I let people’s words change the way I felt about you. I humiliated you, degraded you. I was embarrassed to call you mine. I rid my homes of mirrors as much as possible, for in my madness I could no longer stand the sight of you. I starved you, I overfed you, I forced you throw half of what I gave you back up. I pinched you, poked you with pins, burnt you. I hated you, loathed you, was utterly disgusted in you in a way I would never feel about another human being and yet feeling that way about you, treating you in such a way came blisteringly easy. I hurt you because I was hurt. I was so wrapped up in the constant, nagging turmoil in my poor, damaged soul I never stopped to see it wasn’t your fault, never saw you for what you really are.

You have allowed me to do so many amazing things and for so long I have chosen not to see that. Please do not think I am not grateful now. Thank you for letting me swim under the stars at midnight. Thank you for letting me make angels in the snow, for letting me burry myself in piles of crisp autumn leaves, for letting me walk along the beach, the cool ocean water ebbing and flowing and swirling about my ankles. Thank you for letting me embrace the people I love. Thank you for letting me run from the ones bent on harming me. Thank you for letting me dance with wild abandon in my private moments alone at home. Thank you for the million little things you make possible every moment of the day. You are a miracle. You have endured my constant mistreatment with grace. Despite my secret wishes that you would fail me, that you would send my spirit spiraling to some other world I imagined would somehow be better than this one, you never wavered. You drew breath into my lungs, pumped blood through my veins, converted food to energy, functioned in the countless miraculous ways natured designed you to function. You did the very best you could with what I gave you.

I am so sorry it took me so long to see how blessed I am to have you, to see how beautiful you are, to love you. You could have held a grudge. You could have punished me for all the punishment I’ve heaped on you; I would have deserved that. And yet your love for me is unconditional, boundless. Your forgiveness of me automatic. I changed my ways, I choose now to treat you with care and you have responded with joy. You have given me what I always wanted but was too afraid to want it aloud, too afraid to ask. You are giving me health, you are giving me wellness, you are giving me infinite energy. You are letting me glow from the inside out. I finally see you now for all that you are, for all that you do, and my love for you is as endless as yours for me. Never again will I treat you the way I have, never again will I let others treat you the way they have. You are my body, you the greatest gift I ever received, you are the most precious and valuable thing I will ever own, you are my beloved.

SaveSave