I have gymdecision. It’s like indecision, but with weight lifting gloves and a sports bra.

Since moving back to the Diablo Valley/East Bay area, I’ve been something of a gym nomad. I’ve worked out at Roundhouse Fitness in my office building, joined CitySport Club in Concord, tried Benicia Health & Fitness Club, back to Roundhouse. Then I got roped into an introductory rate at the new UFC Gym at the mall. Most recently, I settled into the YMCA. That’s five gyms in three years, for those keeping count. Each time I joined a new gym, I was optimistic and excited. Then real life starts to interfere.

Now I’m thinking about switching again. This feels kind of nuts.

I like the YMCA. It’s the closest I’ve come to recapturing the feeling of Downtown Fitness, my workout home during my 2010 physical transformation. The vibes are immaculate. So why am I at this juncture again? At some point, shouldn’t I just pick a gym and stick with it? That’s what I’ve been telling myself, anyway. But I have to question whether my gym-hopping is really a problem or whether I’m simply trying to find a place that works for me.

I’ve started looking at Planet Fitness. There are a lot of potential advantages – more equipment, lower membership dues, 24/7 access. But here’s the thing: I don’t want to switch gyms just because one looks better on paper. I need to like being there. I need to feel comfortable in the space. I need to enjoy the atmosphere. At the very least, it would be nice not to be pissed off the whole time because broccoli-headed teenagers are hanging on the lat pull-down like a barrel of monkeys for 45 minutes. I need to be able to imagine myself walking through those doors four or five times a week and being genuinely happy to be there. That might sound like an unnecessary luxury, but I don’t think it is.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it takes to establish a consistent fitness routine. The more I think about it, the more convinced I become that removing barriers is one of the most important things I can do for myself. Some barriers are obvious. A gym that’s too far away. Hours that don’t fit my schedule. Equipment that isn’t available when I need it. A membership that’s too expensive. A parking lot like New Dehli rush hour.

Others are harder to quantify.

A gym where I don’t feel comfortable. An atmosphere that feels off. A layout that makes my workouts frustrating. A place I am anxious to visit because crowds are unpredictable. Those are barriers, too, and I don’t think I should have to ignore them. There’s a tendency to view dedication to fitness as a willingness to overcome any obstacle. Just suck it up. Make it work. No excuses. But why? Why should I have to make something unnecessarily difficult when I have options that could make it easier?

I’m perfectly willing to work hard once I get to the gym. In fact, that’s all I have ever wanted to do. I love strength training. I love challenging myself. I love that wonderful feeling of finishing a workout knowing I’ve given it my full effort. What I don’t love is fighting for equipment, rearranging my schedule around limited hours, or feeling distracted by everything that makes the experience less enjoyable. I want the workout to be the challenging part, not getting through the workout.

So I’m going to check out Planet Fitness. I’m not going to take a quick tour. I’m going to visit at the time I’d actually be working out. I’m going to see how busy it is. Whether parking is a nightmare. Whether the machines I use are available. Whether the layout makes sense. I’m going to walk through my entire strength-training routine, machine by machine, to see whether everything I need is there. And whether there are enough of the popular machines that I won’t have to fight some girl in Lululemons with a Stanley cup in the parking lot for a hip abductor.

And I’m going to pay attention to how I feel. Can I picture myself here? Does it feel like my “workout home”? Could I put on my headphones, disappear into my workout, soak the treadmill belt with my sweat, and forget about everything else for an hour and a half? If the answer is yes, maybe I’ve found my next gym. If not, the YMCA is still a good option. I genuinely like it, even with its limitations.

I don’t need to feel guilty about wanting a gym that fits my life instead of constantly adjusting my life to fit my gym. I don’t have to feel like a failure for wanting a gym that fits seamlessly into my life. I’m not looking for a place that will make me work out. I’m looking for a place that makes it easy for me to show up. I am looking for a place where I can become the person I was again. That fucking warrior with the emerging biceps and the size 12 American Apparel jeans she found at Goodwill.

And if I can find that for half the price, with better equipment and no closing time? Well, that seems like a pretty easy decision. Assuming, of course, that I can actually make one.